Updated: Oct 4, 2021
For as long as I remember I've felt like there was this dark entity attached to me. This shadowy figure that I couldn't escape. I always thought that if I could reach spiritual atonement that the shadow would dissipate and I would be free.
Oh, how wrong I was.
You see, I have some pretty intense planets in the First House. The most intense, I believe, being Lilith.
Lilith is the embodiment of the shadow. The intense, dark, intimidating parts of yourself you'd rather not expose. Lilith shows you where you need to integrate your shadow and for me, that was the self. MYself.
I've been running in the wrong direction this whole time.
I've since come to the realization that the shadow is necessary. It is a crucial and integral part of who you are. It needs to be integrated in order to truly heal.
Rage is necessary to experience peace.
Embarrassment is necessary to experience confidence.
Envy is necessary to experience contentment.
Running from the shadow only fuels it to chase you harder, and when she catches you she will hold a mirror up to your face and say "I am you, and you are me, please accept me."
Wow, how powerful is that?
Your shadow just wants to be loved so desperately. Begging for the same love and affection you provide the bright and easy, light and shiny parts of your self. Your shadow is difficult and that's because she is supposed to be. Balance.
So when your shadow finally catches you, and believe me she will,
Hold her close, squeeze her tight, and say
"I love you, I see you, I am you. You are free."